the four right chords can make me cry

I failed. again.
I bawled.
My eyes are all puffy.

thanks, all of you who care, but, i'm sorry, saying that i can take it again next time doesnt make me feel any better. I already know that. what I don't know is where i'm gonna find all that extra time and money.

is there no dignity in failure? try as i might, i couldn't help but start tearing. so distressed that i left my pdl behind and the tester had to chase after me to give it back. couldnt see his face all that well behind all that water. he was a nice guy lah, i would have failed me too.

don't, under any circumstances, ask me to give a post-mortem, what happened doesnt matter.

to add insult to injury, i had to pay $182 today for making me feel terrible.

how terrible? wiping the periodic, irrepresible tears off your face as you take damned public transport which you feel you are doomed to be confined to for the rest of your life. seeing this girl excitedly run out to her mum who's waiting for her. I failed, and i had no one there. ouch. ouch. returning home, but no one's there too. crying like i haven't in a long time, alone.

pain's a very private place. so don't try to come in.

i feel very stupid for crying. i know its just a driving test. but it hurts. so don't try to understand or try to make me feel better. just let me be sad.

it's like that time in sec 4 when band lost at SYF. there was nothing to be said. Enai just let me cry. but enai isn't here anymore. and people who don't know me that well will try to say stuff to comfort me, which i'm thankful for and all, but i don't want that. I just want to cry.

i'll be fine. don't worry about me. to prove it to you, i shall pretend to have a sense of humour about the whole thing:

I can predict the next earthquake.

It will be the day before my next driving test date.

failure 1: 27th dec 2004 (1 day after boxing day tragedy)
failure 2: 29th March 2004 (1 day after the quake in Sumatra)

this isn't very funny. its tragic. people died.

maybe i should stop learning driving.

maybe i should have worn my lucky underwear. ha.

Hootie & the Blowfish : Let Her Cry

She sits alone by a lamppost
Trying to find a thought that’s escaped her mind
She says dad’s the one I love the most
But stipe’s not far behind

She never lets me in
Only tells me where’s she’s been
When she’s had too much to drink
I say that I don’t care
I just run my hands through her dark hair
and then I pray to god you gotta help me fly away

And just let her cry
If the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing
If it eases all her pain
Let her go
Let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

This morning I woke up alone
Found a note by the phone
Saying maybe, maybe I’ll be back some day
I wanted to look for you; you walked in
I didn’t know just what I should do
So I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for myself.

Let her cry
If the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing
If it eases all her pain
Let her go
Let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

Last night I tried to leave
Cried so much I could not believe
She was the same girl i fell in love with long ago
She went in the back to get high
I sat down on my couch and cried
Yelling oh mama please help me
Won’t you hold my hand

And let her cry
If the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing
If it eases all her pain
Let her go
Let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

oh yeah, happy birthday fad =)
its easy to smile virtually.

posted by beckyboo @ 11:01 PM